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Tumblr is, to me, the social media equivalent of the dried jizz of MySpace, but if anyone needed to learn a lesson about rage and its consequences, it's you. Ten years is too long to hate anybody.

(From here, bless Hogan:

"Whenever I feel anything vaguely resembling hatred, I never trust it to do anything useful except point me in the direction of one of my insecurities or deep wounds. I never trust hatred. I can barely put up with my contempt for certain things.

I look at people who use a lot of language to support the usefulness of rage and alI I see is a human puzzle, someone who has all the pieces that fit together to make one very vivid picture of the human material’s propensity for a lack of self-awareness.

I have acted on many rage impulses, and truth is that anything that got me angry was nothing more than a surrogate for some early slight in my life when I was humiliated or made to feel scared as a child. I know this now. Oh, I had pretty rationalizations for doing certain things, like stabbing my abusive father or picking up a gun to fight the Man, etc.  But those post hoc justifications are all fluff to me now.

Someone smarter than me once said something about if you want to take a measure of a person’s character, then take a look at the things that make them angry.

Throwback Thursday reveals a photo of me in full-throttle rage. Trying to disguise my woundedness behind a corpse-like mask of hate.  #notwinning


germanlandis: (Default)
“You Learn.

You Learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure... 

That you really are strong 

And you really do have worth... 

And you learn and learn... 

With every good-bye you learn.” ― Jorge Luis Borges
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“Some women wait for themselves around the next corner and call the empty spot peace but the opposite of living is only not living and the stars do not care.” 

-Audre Lorde

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"I think for many people both Facebook and Twitter function as the companion or close friend they don’t have, or an idealized one who cares about their every comment and whim. When people post such things as “I’m really in the mood for a hamburger” it's easy to imagine they’re sending those messages out to a someone who they want to believe actually cares that they’re in the mood for a burger. However we all know such loving concerned friends are extremely rare. So like the child who creates an imaginary friend, these posters send their messages to an idealized (but imaginary) grown up someone who they wish was out there, listening."

-Jonathan Carroll

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This is my happy music. Please play it and smile for me.


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March 2014

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